Effective leadership requires humility, strong team dynamics, openness to feedback, and respect for others’ opinions, all the while engaging authentically with employees. By prioritizing transparency and connection, it’s possible to show appreciation for everyone, embrace challenges and uphold core values.
I’m not going to reiterate what countless leadership books, speakers or LinkedIn articles have already said, though it’s quite possible my list isn’t as “secret” as I think it is. Whether you are an experienced leader or one in the making, here are 10 secrets I’m candidly sharing.
- More Humility, Less Hubris. At the moment you become an executive, you are not immediately bestowed with transcendental enlightenment (sorry!). The good news is, that it’s “ok”, you don’t have to have all the answers. Be open to the advice and guidance from those that are closest to the work.
Also, don’t share the spotlight, give it up altogether. A simple example is, if you are invited to participate in a group picture with your team, do not stand front and center, rather, stand off to the side. At events, walk up to a staff member and be the first to say “hi”. Introduce them to your peer leaders if possible. You can quickly learn so much about a leader by just how aware they are in social situations.
Lastly, make time to re-evaluate yourself and/or ask your employees for a performance evaluation every once in a while. It takes a special kind of person to want to try to improve themselves every day. - Build a Strong Team. You and your team make decisions that drive the direction of the company. Do not “suffer fools gladly” and be open to doing battlefield promotions of your rockstars; more than one level if needed. Seek a balance or opposing character traits within your leadership circle, i.e., structured vs. creative, risk-taking vs. cautious, process-oriented vs. service-oriented, etc. Correct any behaviors such as “gatekeeping” among your team.
- Don’t Believe Everything You Hear. It’s possible that your inbox is flooded with exclusive invitations by highly paid consultants trying to convince you there are better way of doing things and (magically) they have all the answers. Take it into consideration but remain skeptical; there’s a myriad of surveys or studies that will tell you exactly anything what you want to hear. As extra-credit, learn more about critical thinking and logical fallacies and how to spot them to keep those pesky salespeople in check.
- Meeting Mindfulness. Just in case this hasn’t been said before, when someone ranking much lower than you is presenting at a meeting you are attending, it is a BIG DEAL for them. It feels like it’s the only shot they have to be noticed or seen as a future leader. Being late or not showing up at all tells everyone in the room as well as the presenter, that the person isn’t important enough to merit your respect. Please be punctual. Be engaged. Ask questions. Praise publicly and object privately.
- Distinguish Opinion from Feedback. We tend to forget that opinions are like a box of chocolates, we don’t always have to share them. While there is no shortage of ways to write something, decorate, photograph, use colors, icons, etc., it’s probably best to save yours for when the topic is related to business strategy. Even the most innocent comment may come across as a directive to those who report to you. As a bonus, it’s very empowering to rely on your SMEs (Subject Matter Experts) and allow them to own a decision, however simple it may be. A simple mnemonic to remember this is WITWTCHIIJRQ (what is the worse that could happen if I just remain quiet)?
- Allow Yourself to be Challenged (Respectfully). In the rare occasion when someone is brave enough to offer a differing point of view to what you’ve stated, do not shut the conversation down, especially if the counter argument is valid. Seek first to understand the position, acknowledge its merit and encourage said individual to continue speaking honestly (if you disagree, see the last sentence of item #3). Encouraging diverse thoughts is a powerful way to create psychological safety in your organization.
- Live Your Core Values. You are a role model for the company: such is the burden of leadership. As such, people will look to your example when living your company’s core values. Make an intentional commitment to learn and understand what they are and apply them in your daily interactions with employees. Don’t be shy to call out your direct leadership team if you see they are not living them.
- Get To Know Your People. If you’re not familiar with Herb Kelleher, I invite you to learn more about him. Probably one of the greatest CEOs ever. Back in my consulting days, I had the privilege of doing a project at Southwest Airlines and I can tell you without a doubt, the culture stuff is real. The man had an uncanny way of remembering everyone he spoke with and of making them feel important, because they were. He was tirelessly committed to his employees and was always grateful. You don’t have to be an undercover boss like on TV, but getting out there and meeting the people who make your business succeed, is a fun and fantastic way of creating an indelible legacy.
That said, like most things, there is a balance. Showing up to your employees’ happy hour at the local watering hole in your Bentley or talking about the difficult decision of choosing a color for your new yacht are “first-world” problems. Avoid sharing personal details or opinions with employees, be they political, religious, cultural or other. You could be inadvertently creating future problems. - Treat Your Employees Like Adults, Especially When Communicating. Unlike children, leaders need to be seen AND heard (bonus points if you get the reference). Especially when your employees may be uncertain about their jobs. When you don’t know the answer, it’s ok to say you don’t know, your employees will respect more for it than if you try to gaslight them. Authenticity and transparency are foundational to keeping trust. Own Your Decisions (especially the bad ones).
Also, be clear and direct when sharing information or asking what you need of your teams. And please, don’t use the same big words, acronyms or terms you use for shareholders. Speak to employees in their language. - Don’t Take Yourself Too Seriously. I get it, it’s hard being a leader. Some people may secretly resent your pay while others are fawning over your every word and trying to be your friend. At moments, it may be tempting to succumb to all the adulation and perks that come with people wanting to please you or do your bidding. Yea, it’s a bit of a rockstar life, at least from the outside looking in. But as the distance to your front-line increases the higher you rise in your org, make time to reconnect with all the people you’ve met along your journey. As I witnessed during the pandemic, sometimes there are things that cut through all the position and titles, and we’re reminded that we’re just human like everyone else, with a different take on what’s most important. And that’s a good thing.
Twistymind 
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